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i have anorexia, or maybe had?
i have been in recovery several times, twice as an inpatient.
i have, in the past, self harmed and overdosed multiple times.
in october i decided to try recovery again, and although its slow work, i have gained 2 or 3 kgs.
i am 5ft7, female and 47kg.
i am aiming for 54kg. maybe 56kg.
i keep eating foods i deem unhealthy…like tonight i had my usual supper of a mullerice, but then i had a dairy milk caramel bar…and now i feel so crap.
and when i do things like this…i have recently been cutting, and piercing my veins with glass. watching the blood seems to take it all away :(
i dont know what to do.
yes im gonna list what i ate
yesterday i had hardly anything to eat
i had a roll (about 6 inches, like subway but just little bit of marmite, lucheon and lettuce – yes a little odd combination), about 4 cm of the fat end of a carrot, about 1 litre of water, and could hardly eat a mince and cheese pie for dinner. i wasnt even hungry AT ALL but knew i had to eat something, i felt sick after eating
today i had about half of a rather large apple about 1 1/2 of a tennis ball size, that was about 11.30am , and wasnt even hungry for that, by lunchtime i still wasnt hungry but knew i had to eat something (because i know its really bad not to eat) so i bought a burger which only had a piece of chicken and some weird sauce thing (maybe mayo? didnt check what it was lol just ate it)
so i got home and ate 1 muffin thing (the one you put in the toaster) with margarine and marmite, a small glass of cold milo (prob about 250ml approx) and parents bought fish and chips (very healthy family haha) i had a piece of fish and not even a hand full of chips
im 17, female, about 55kgs, im NOT fat, i am rather on the short side and about size 10 pants coz got muffin hips haha
but anyway, i looked on the internet and anorexia means lose of appetite, while anorexia NERVOSA means basically u starve yourself to loose weight
so am wondering your opinion as to if i have a eating disorder or anything else..
i think i might have something wrong with me because im usually depressed but not eating seems to make me happier yet not happier because i sort of worry if it will get out of control but i seem like ive got control of it..
idk
i know its not that clear, i dont know how to explain it sorry
what do you think??
It is a sad time of the year for me, because my mother is in the midst of some rapid Alzheimer’s deterioration. What an awful thing to happen to a human being that has led a life of complete unselfishness and compassion! I look in her eyes, and very little remains of the sweet and wonderful woman who used to inhabit her body! Can anyone relate??
i have anorexia, or maybe had?
i have been in recovery several times, twice as an inpatient.
i have, in the past, self harmed and overdosed multiple times.
in october i decided to try recovery again, and although its slow work, i have gained 2 or 3 kgs.
i am 5ft7, female and 47kg.
i am aiming for 54kg. maybe 56kg.
i keep eating foods i deem unhealthy…like tonight i had my usual supper of a mullerice, but then i had a dairy milk caramel bar…and now i feel so crap.
and when i do things like this…i have recently been cutting, and piercing my veins with glass. watching the blood seems to take it all away :(
i dont know what to do.